Would you give your kids a drug test?

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May 22, 2007 · Filed Under Italy, Milan

Yes? No? Well, here in Milan, to counter increasing drug use amongst children as young as 13, the Mayor of Milan is about to offer parents a free kit for them to test whether their kids are drug users. Porta a Porta, an Italian talk show is discussing this issue as I write.

My other half, Italian, is rather shocked by this proposal to dope test kids. She cannot understand how parents cannot know that their progeny are doing drugs.
On the other hand, I can just about understand how parents with teenage kids just do not know that their sons and daughters are smoking a joint or two. In Milan there are plenty of one-parent families, for one thing. Next we have mum and dad working late and just not seeing their offspring, apart from fleeting moments during the weekends. And then there are the kids being brought up by nannies. Even in the so-called fully functional families, dad is probably working late and so leaves kid management to his wife, who already has plenty to do and thus has less time to talk to her children. I am referring to more to northern Italian families than perhaps to those in the south. In fact, I would be interested to know if drug use levels amongst teenagers down in the southern regions are as high as those up here in the north. From my knowledge and observations, I would say that the southern Italian family is more of a functional unit than those up here. I could be wrong about this though.

Moving back to the subject of youngsters doing drugs, as most parents know, teenagers are notoriously difficult to communicate with at the best of times. However, if parents never see their children, then the chances of parent-child interaction are reduced to a minimum. Having children later in life does not help either - older parents find it more difficult to manage children due to waning energy levels and a greater generation gap.

It was also pointed out by my other half that by insisting that your child does one of these tests, you are demonstrating a lack of trust in him or her. And this may do more damage than good in her opinion. I agree.

It’s a worrying situation and it may indicate that the family as a unit of society is something which is starting to break down, as we parents all email, telephone, Skype, watch Sky, retouch photos, iPod or simply collapse in bed. We have so many things to do now, that we tend to overlook simply and really communicating.

We seem to have less and less time to spend with our kids. And when we do see ‘em, we drug test ‘em. Not a great way to go.

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5 Responses to “Would you give your kids a drug test?”

mimii on May 22nd, 2007 11:27 pm

No way! I think it would ruin any kind of good relationship that you have with your child to show them that you do not trust them like that. If I had any children, they would learn from a vey young age about drugs and all other important issues to worry about. I might even try scaring them with the truth. Id tell them how doing drugs can physically, emotionally, and financially cripple you. (sorry for any spelling mistakes)
Would you give your kids a drug test? « Blog from Italy « Would You Just . . . Adventures in Love on May 22nd, 2007 11:38 pm

[...] Would you give your kids a drug test? « Blog from Italy Would you give your kids a drug test? « Blog from Italy [...]
Alex on May 23rd, 2007 9:01 am

Mimii - I agree with you. Testing will reduce trust. Education, as you suggest, is a much better thing to do. You just need to find the time, and or courage, to talk to them about these things. This is the hard part.

Alex
Fast Eddie on May 23rd, 2007 11:40 pm

I’m really not sure these drug tests are the answer, certainly not administered by parents. (Although having them administered by anyone else, e.g. schools, the State, would possibly be even worse).

Having said that, I’m sure that the history of parenthood is filled with examples of parents who thought they knew what their kids were up to, whereas in fact they had no idea.

And I’m not talking about delinquent children, I just think it’s “normal” for all children to make mistakes. It would be lovely to think that if one puts huge amounts of trust in one’s children they will pay that back with equal amounts of trust, in the form of not hiding things from one (the parent) and heeding one’s sage advice, gleaned from years of experience (and even first hand knowledge of things like drugs). But I’m not sure in the real world it always, or even often, works like that.

Perhaps ask me in 20 years when my son is going on 22!
Alex on May 24th, 2007 3:55 pm

You are right, Eddie, about parents not knowing what their offspring get up to. My parents put a fair amount of trust in me, and look where I ended up….here in Italy!