Blind Cheek

The Far Sighted Record Breaker

There is a lovely little story in Milan’s freebie newspaper ‘Epolis Milano‘ today all about a guy down in Taranto who pretended to be blind.

The story gets better, though.

This ingenious chap managed to keep his perfect vision out of sight for twenty four years! I wonder if there is a world record for ‘the longest fiddle ever’.

There is more. This far sighted individual actually used his sightless status to land himself a job as a telephone operator at Taranto prison, of all places. As a result of his far sighted fiddle, he may well end up as a permanent resident in the very same prison.

And yet more. Our blind friend had a driving licence and a big powerful motorbike.

Somewhere along the line, someone must have cottoned on to the fact that for a person registered as blind, he could see pretty well. In fact, Italian police finally caught up with him after he was filmed while reading a newspaper.

End of a possibly record breaking fiddle.

But what of the good doctor who signed our not so blind friend’s medical certificate? Good question. Actually, the doctor concerned is 100% safe from any kind of legal recourse, thanks to the fact that after a certian length of time, you cannot be prosecuted for a crime in Italy.

One does wonder whether the mischievous medic had signed any other dodgy health certificates though. Digging around I imagine investigators could come across a few two-legged one-legged men, and women. A few walking dead, or maybe even the odd deaf piano tuner or two.

More Dodgy Doctors

On the subject of dodgy Italian doctors, a few incidents have made it into the news here recently. How about the 32 Milanese doctors under investigation for having issued prescriptions to those who are now living behind the pearly gates (Or simmering down below)?

Then there was the esteemed ‘prince’ of Italian paediatricians, Carlo Marcelletti, who was arrested for demanding money from the parents of his little patients to, er, accelerate their treatment. This charming quack was then found to have had pornographic images of  what was probably a child on his mobile phone.

To round things off, this price of fiddlers was also, apparently, pocketing money owned to the hospital where he worked and, just for good measure, was probably involved in the manipulation of tenders for work within the hospital.

Ah, the artful dodgers of Italy.

Into the Wild

Well, I saw the film Into the Wild the other day. Oddly enough, years ago, I don’t remember when or where – but I think it was in a magazine, I read about this guy who took off into the Alaskan wilderness and appeared to have died from eating the wrong kind of plants, even if this Wikipedia entry appears to indicate that the lad died of starvation.

Did I like the film? Yes, but it’s a little long and quite slow moving.

What did I think of the story? Nice, but a good example of how to end up in big trouble as a result of a) being a townie b) not being at all well prepared for such a harsh environment. I was a still little surprised that the guy ended up dead though. A great shame and sad waste of a young, and promising, life.

As a matter of interest, and as a result of reading about it, I discovered that the unbeknown to McCandless, at the point where he discovered that the river he had initially crossed had swollen so much as to make it impossible to cross, a quarter of a mile further downstream there was a hand pulled ferry – scroll down to Cultural Legacy. Alas the young lad did not even think to take a decent map with him, such was his desperation to escape from the materialist society he so detested.

That he died of starvation surprised me a little – considering he had a gun with him. He must have been neither a good shot nor much of a hunter, is all I can observe – confirming that he was too much of a townie. Anyone thinking about doing the same needs to watch this film, at least so they can understand what not to do.

I know this incvident happened before the web exploded on the scene, which is also a shame because there are some great resources which can allow one to find out about many of the potential pitfalls involved in going it alone in the middle of nowhere. You can even learn how to deal with big nosey, and dangerous, bears. One thing you can do is to lie down and play dead. Then big ted will decided that bear hugging you won’t be much fun and lollop off somewhere else. Maybe for a spot of salmon fishing.

So, I suppose the qustion is: Was McCandless a hero or a fool? I don’t think he was either really. Basically he was killed by that most dangerous of traits: ignorance.

Would I have done any better? I like to think so, but then I didn’t grow up in a town. And I can shoot.

Revolution: Britain

Revolution: Britain is my first reall attempt at writing a novel. I started it some time ago and it is as yet unfinished, although I have written something like 16 chapters. I need an excuse to find some time to finish it, so I would like people to have a look and say how much it stinks or otherwise.

The more feedback I get, the more chapters I will publish. If you like what you read, let me know and the story will continue.

Over to you readers.