Trying to avoid ending up all hot and bothered

June 8, 2005 · Filed Under Life in Italy · Comment 

If you’ve read some of the other posts on this blog you may know about the heat which dominates Milan, and just about everywhere in Italy from around June until the end of September.

Well, I’ve decided to go on at length about the heat in this entry and what you can try to do to keep yourself from going mad and survive daily life in Italy in the summer season.

Italy and Italians are generally quite used to the heat, with the possible exception of one or two hardy types who live high up in the northern mountains.

So what do Italians do to try to deal with the absurd heat levels? Well, here in Milan there are several ways which are adopted, but perhaps the most common method is that of escape.

Every weekend during the hot season millions of Milanese run for the hills at the weekends or charge off for the seaside (the lucky few alternate - having two houses to choose from). This would seem to be the ideal solution, at least on the face of it.

The Great Escape, maybe

Assuming that you have or are renting a little place at a high enough altitude to remain cool (and mozzy free) or down by the sea, one of the chores of heading out of the city is just that, heading out. It would seem that the whole of Milan migrates at weekends during the summer and this leads to some of the most horrific traffic jams you have ever seen in your life. Only these jams happen more or less every weekend during the escape season. You may be lucky when leaving Milan and get to your retreat in a reasonable time, but coming back could well be arduous, two hour trips can easily turn into six hour tortures. So, while leaving Milan seems to be a good way to keep your cool, you may well end up finding your stress level maxing out in the horrendous traffic jams.

Stuck in the Heat of the City

Let’s assume you are generally stuck in Milan, like me, or can’t abide being stuck in never ending tailbacks (again, like me). What are your alternatives? In this case you could install air conditioning. This is really catching on here and rectangular white boxes are popping up on balconies everywhere. However, there is a catch. Our bodies don’t seem to like being thrust from a cool 25°C into external temperatures exceeding 35°C. In fact they will protest, usually in the form of a nasty summer cold or flu like ailment. Which is just what you need right in the middle of summer. Air conditioning also seems to play havoc with babies health and from personal experience creates more sleepless nights that it saves.

OK air conditioning does not seem to be the ideal solution, so what’s next? Easy, get a electric fan. They come in all shapes and sizes, but you have to be quick because they sell out about as quickly as an ice cream melts as soon as people realise that the heat is not about to abate. However, fans create slight problems. Some people find the noise irritating, so you need to hear the thing running in a nice quiet shop before handing over cash. Other people just cannot sleep with a cool draft wafting over their bodies, which can cause problems if one of you likes this, but the other doesn’t. Cue heated (excuse the pun) domestics.

Now, what can you do if you don’t like air conditioning and find fans frustrating and you are reviled by the thought of sitting in tailbacks for half your weekend? Good question. You could try leaving the windows open in the hope that a rare breeze may drift in and cool you down a wee bit. Fat hope, cool breezes are about as rare as hens teeth in Italy in summer.

The Perils of Sleeping in Your Birthday Suit

How about sleeping naked? Good idea, but if you don’t do something to discourage the mozzies, you will wake up covered in lots of nice little itchy bumps. You will find that your average mozzy has no qualms at all about biting you anywhere on your body - and I do mean anywhere. You can get away with scratching away at your arms or legs, but people do start to notice when you start rubbing your crotch incessantly. You have been warned.

As you might well have gathered, sleeping becomes just about impossible. However there are certain strategies you can adopt. If you are young free and single you could just spend every night out partying. Here I should mention that Milan has one or two open air discos which go down well with young insomniacs. Try the (beware the site blasts out disco moozic - turn the volume down before visiting) Old Fashion Cafe in Parco Sempione, for example.

Make Babies!

If you happen to be a youngish, but as yet childless couple, then devoting yourselves to baby making could well be one of the best ways of ensuring that you will actually spend a few hours (OK, two hours) sleeping every night, but be a little careful because if you go for it too often you may find other aspects of your life suffering. Bosses have never been too keen on those who drop off suddenly at work.

For those, like me, who are neither young, nor free, nor single, you can play with your kids until they tire you out enough to ensure that you sleep regardless of how hot it is. Or you could sit in front of Italian TV and wait until it bores you to sleep - more or less a dead cert.

Italian husbands generally shove wives and sprogs off to relations during the hot season, thus ensuring that they can sleep better, either alone and care free, or with some other lonely person, who just might happen to be of the opposite sex.

Other things you can do to keep yourself cool

Go to one of the many open air pools - but watch out for mozzies and loud groups of kids. Eat gallons of ice cream or ‘granita’ - the flavoured ice drink - which is one of the best ways to cool yourself down. The best ‘granite’ are the Sicilian style ones which contain much more fruit and stuff than the standard mint and lemon things which most bars and stalls sell.

Always get ice cream from the real ice cream shops - not from the bars, and try as many of the bewildering varieties of flavours which exist as you can. Italy is full of ice cream parlours, and they are cool places to hang out in summer, in every sense. Very popular with local mosquito populations too.

Watch Your Pee!

And finally, drink gallons, literally, just about, of water. Foreigners, especially old people and those from cooler countries just do not realise how quickly you can dehydrate.

A good rule is the colour of your pee. If it is dark yellow you need more water - once it is clear you are OK. Watch out when wondering around open air tourist attractions in Italy, such as Pompeii, for example. The heat can be overpowering.

Italians walk on the shady side of streets and sit on the side of buses which are opposite the sun and Italians do not go out unless they really have to from about midday until around half three. The locals here are much more used to the heat than many tourists, so if you go by their rules you should end up suffering a little less from the heat.

Oh and light clothes are a great idea too and the best shoes are sandals - yes those horrible Jesus type ones - but don’t wear socks while you are wearing them - people will think you are odd or foreign, possibly both.

Enough, I’m off to get some water.

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