My feet

I think it may be true to say that my feet have quite a lot in common with Italy’s current bunch of politicos.

For a start I have one left foot and one right one, but when I cross my legs the left foot becomes my right foot and vice versa; much in the same way as Italian politicians flick from the left to the right wing, and from the right to the left wing of the political spectrum in Italy.

Close Feet

My feet are also rather close to one another, despite one being on the left and one on the right, again in much the same way as Italian politicians who tend to form rather unholy mixed left and right alliances. And when my feet are next to one another, such as when I am standing, they could be said to be on the centre left and the centre right, which is where most Italian politicians find themselves, when they are not in the crossed legs phase, that is.

Smelly Feet

If I don’t wash my feet, they become rather smelly – in much the same way as Italian politicians who tend to smell a bit iffy as a result of the continual investigations into alleged corruption and other activities which are not generally in the best interests of the Italian people.

Webbed Feet

Tickle my feet and they will try to escape. Beppe Grillo has been tickling Italian politicians rather a lot of late, and the politicos are doing their level best to escape his attention.

If you really irritate me, I may use one of my feet to give you a kick. Levi plus the much tickled Prodi have been trying to kick bloggers off the web with their senseless anti-blogging legislation.

Alas, my feet are unable to use the Internet, and they do not really know, nor want to know, what the world wide web is. And one may understand from Prodi’s recent assault on bloggers that, much like my feet, he probably has no idea what the Internet is all about, and does not want to go to the trouble of finding out.

Feet With Connections

Of course, my feet, although being apparently separate, are controlled by a much larger interest, which in my case is my old brain. And indeed, the further you dig into the convoluted world of Italian politics, the more likely it is that you will come across one single large interest that leans neither to the left nor the right, but that manages to guide the movements of all of Italy’s politicians, in the much same way that my grey matter influences the actions of my own left and right feet. Indeed, it probably would not be all that untrue to say that the actions of many Italian politicians, whether left or right, are governed by ‘connections’, almost in the same way as my brain connects to my feet and commands them to act.

Old Feet

Finally, the combined age of my feet is around that of the average age of most major Italian politicians. Well, I will admit that my feet are a little older than Mr P and Mr B, but not much younger than the Italian president, Mr Napolitano.

Yes, my two feet have rather too much in common with the stars of Italian politics. But at least my feet cannot speak, and, you will be pleased to hear, they will never be elected into power. At least the Living Museum is safe from my feet, and their ‘connections’.