Italians: What’s Good and Not So Good

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September 23, 2007· Filed Under Italians  Tags: , , , ,

What I love about Italians:

They are friendly, hospitable, generous, intelligent, good humoured, gentle, well-dressed, tasteful, and family oriented. And they don’t get drunk and vulgar. There are also many other positive characteristics too.

What I don’t like about Italians:

Only one thing really, and that is they, not all, but many, lack consideration for anyone who is not a direct friend, contact or family. Here are some common everyday examples of this:

  • When driving: Not slowing down at pedestrian crossings. Driving too fast and not anticipating potential problems. Parking on sidewalks/pavements and not thinking about the elderly or young mothers with strollers/pushchairs. Impatience - using the horn when someone hesitates at the traffic lights or at a stop sign for a few nanoseconds.
  • When strolling: Walking three abreast on narrow sidewalks/pavements, and not moving over for other pedestrians.
  • With dogs: Letting their dogs foul the sidewalks/pavements and not cleaning up the mess.
  • Queuing: Not standing one behind the other. Pushing in front or pushing into others.
  • When speaking: Talking over the top of others without letting them finish. Talking loudly, and almost shouting to each other when in groups - this is related to one person not letting another finish talking before starting to speak. (This is something which people from the US and UK find unusual and rather impolite, incidentally)
  • On public transport: Pushing and shoving.
  • Young people on public transport: Not getting up and offering seats to elderly people, mothers with young children, or pregnant women.

Indeed, I put many of Italy’s problems down to this odd lack of respect for other people. And it surprises me that this is the case in a land which headquarters the Roman Catholic Church.

I hope I don’t offend any of my Italian readers with this post, and I would stress that not all Italians are inconsiderate. And maybe one or two other non-Italian readers would like to confirm or deny what I have written, which is purely the product of my own observations and my English sensibilities.

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11 Responses to “Italians: What’s Good and Not So Good”

  1. Ali said on September 24th, 2007 12:38 am

    At the time I was studing in University in Italy, I was in an Italian family’s house one day to take a book from a friend of mine, Luca. In the kitchen, Luca’s mother was telling Luca to not make any plans for Friday night because some friends and relatives will come to their house for dinner. I took a book and left. Friday night I was alone at home watching TV when Luca knocked on the door and asked me why I was still at home while all of his friends and relatives were waiting for me at the dinner table? I told him nobody invited me? Luca told me: You don’t need an invitation. When My mother told me about the dinner in front of you that means you have to be at the table too.

  2. Andy said on September 24th, 2007 9:47 am

    Agree with everything. I would add two more things a) no recognition of personal space (related to the pushing and shoving), particularly in a supermarket queue where it seems it is imperative to stand so close to the person in front that, if you were turn your head you would headbutt them and b) staring - I mean look at you and continue to look at you and on and on. This is quite disconcerting for us Brits, as you probably know.

  3. Alex said on September 24th, 2007 4:37 pm

    Ali,

    Italians are very hospitable, this is true. But, as you have found, they assume that non-Italians know the etiquette. This can, as you have found, lead to slight problems!

    All the best,

    Alex

  4. Alex said on September 24th, 2007 4:48 pm

    Andy,

    Glad you agree, and it is not just me. In fact today an Italian student of mine agreed that my observations were accurate.

    Your comment regarding personal space is true too, and I’ve noticed this. I don’t think it is a negative aspect of the Italian character, because they are much warmer than Brits and social touching is commonplace here. You just have to get used to it. I have, almost, but I do find myself moving backwards sometimes, if there is space(!), when in conversation with Italians.

    Yes, I agree about the shoving in supermarkets - elderly people are particularly annoying in this respect sometimes, I have found. But they do not feel as though they are doing anything wrong. You have to get used to it, I’m afraid.

    Ah, staring. Yes, I know all about this. They literally look you up and down - something that would get you in a fight in some pubs back in the UK! It’s a very Italian thing that is very disconcerting for Brits, and others - and this is not helped by the often times scathing expressions! It was very odd for me at first, but I just ignore it now. And I think that I dress in a semi-Italian way now, so I just merge into the crowd, which helps.

    On balance, the staring thing is disconcerting, but inoffensive, so it is best to let it wash over you and get used to it.

    I see you’re discovering the ‘real’ Italy!

    All the best,

    Alex

  5. TinodiBacco said on September 26th, 2007 8:57 am

    Very interesting to know this kind of things for us! Expecially about staring. But let me say that is not so inoffensive in the southern Italy, it could be dangerous. :-)

  6. Alex said on September 26th, 2007 9:34 am

    Hi Tinodibacco,

    You aren’t Corpodibacco’s brother are you? ;)
    Interesting to hear about staring being potentially offensive/dangerous (!) down in the south of Italy. Must mean that this staring thing is more of a northern Italian feature, I suppose.

    Kind regards,

    Alex

  7. tasti said on September 26th, 2007 1:12 pm

    Posso commentare in italiano, vero?
    Mi sono divertita leggendovi, ma avete ragione su tutto!
    I nostri pregi sono anche i nostri difetti, e questo nell’Italia del Sud significa…. grandi pregi, grandi difetti!
    Dangerous in the south of Italia?….
    Non lo so, forse, ma anche meno soli nel sud d’Italia, più ospitale del nord, e i pericoli temo siano in tutto il mondo…credo di poter dire che le mafie del sud lasciano in pace turisti e ospiti stranieri…
    E…. ovviamente…. vi abbraccio tutti!

  8. Alex said on September 27th, 2007 6:37 pm

    Si, Tasti, certo che si puo anche commentare in Italiano, anche se mio Italiano scritto non è niente di fantastico!

    “I nostri pregi sono anche i nostri difetti, e questo nell’Italia del Sud significa…. grandi pregi, grandi difetti!”
    - Questo detto è qualcosa che ho già sentito….. Non so se sono d’accordo.

    “Non lo so, forse, ma anche meno soli nel sud d’Italia, più ospitale del nord, e i pericoli temo siano in tutto il mondo…credo di poter dire che le mafie del sud lasciano in pace turisti e ospiti stranieri…”
    - questo mi pare che sia vero - quelli nel sud sono molto ospitale - lo so perché ho diversi amici dal sud, e sono simpaticissimi, senza alcun dubbio. E’ anche vero che le mafie lasciano stare turisti e ospiti stranieri, almeno che non fanno troppe domande!

    Grazie per aver visitato mio blog, Tasti.

    Tanti saluti,

    Alex

  9. Antonio Fiorentino said on September 28th, 2007 4:06 am

    Alex

    Did you pick up these impressions in Milan? If so, then the lot of them is doomed. Or should I say: we are all doomed - because I too am an Italian citizen. I was lucky to be born in the colonies and to escape to a British education and then to an American education. But we must not give up. Like the song says: “Qualcosa succedera’ per noi”

  10. Alex said on September 28th, 2007 2:03 pm

    Antonio

    Nice to hear from you once more. In answer to your question, although I have mainly lived in Milan, I also go to Genova quite often, and I have visited other parts of Italy, so my impressions derive from my experiences in Italy.

    I would not say you are all doomed! By no means. I think a little education would help, that is ‘educazione’ in the Italian sense - I think you will know what I mean.

    Anche io spero, fortemente, che come vada scritto nelle parole della canzone: “Qualcosa succedera’ per VOI”!

    Incidentally, which colony do you hail from? Sorry, I’m naturally curious.

    Kind regards,

    Alex

  11. Antonio Fiorentino said on September 28th, 2007 3:47 pm

    I was born in Asmara Eritrea, when it was still nominally an Italian colony but under British administration as a UN trusteeship.

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